If you're thinking of moving 100 miles or more from where you currently reside, you are one of a growing number in the 50-plus age group contemplating this dramatic life change. We North Americans may be the most mobile people in modern times. The reasons are many, but one reason probably outweighs the rest: we move so frequently because we CAN. The sheer size of our continental landmass is for many an irresistible call to exploration and discovery. Picking up stakes and heading down the road is coupled with our appetite for reinvention and makeovers, a belief that life can be better - somewhere else.
What makes relocation different this time around is that it is likely to be motivated by reasons other than the demands of career. If the nest is empty, we may want to combine downsizing with a change of venue. We may be seeking a warmer climate (the siren song of the Sun Belt), a beach if we've been landlocked, the slower place of a small town and more house for the money if we've been lifelong urbanites, closer family ties (or perhaps not), and so on. This time, chances are the choice is ours to make. To put it another way, for perhaps the first time in our adult lives, we can carefully weigh the factors that are important to us: climate, culture, cost of living, crime rates, to name a few offered by http://www.bestplaces.net and other sites with assessment tools, and let the other pieces fall into place.
Needless to say, unless you are smitten by wanderlust, relocation is fraught with anxiety that no amount of cheerful 'successful moves' tips, to-do lists and moving count-downs can allay. The details of packing and scheduling and hauling and settling in are pretty straightforward -- there's a huge industry dedicated to helping us master this, after all. (Just type the word 'move' into your browser and stand back.) So what makes relocation rank in the top 10 of life's most stressful events? In a nutshell, it replaces a world we know for one about which we can only make an educated guess.
Here are some suggestions that may help make the process smoother.
1. Give yourself plenty of time to think about what you want in a location and prioritize your desires -- a year ahead or more is not too much. Have many discussions with your life partner so you can get on the same page, or as nearly as possible. Trade-offs are inevitable, so be sure you identify what is most important. Use head and heart.
2. Before you start researching your ideal location, make lists about what you like/dislike about where you live now. With these in hand, have a dialogue with your life partner and see where you agree and disagree. This is probably as important as anything else you can do. You may even decide not to move at all, or choose a nearby location that will enable you to maintain your friendships and other connections.
3. Consider taking up temporary residence in a location you are considering. One way you can do this through home exchange, a favorite of independent travelers that enables you to live in another's home while they occupy yours. There are several organizations that set this up. Popular http://www.digsville.com offers membership at a nominal fee and a property ratings system (like Zagat's for home exchangers). Another option is care-taking, a form of house-sitting or property management in exchange for lodgings and sometimes a small stipend. See http://www.caretaker.org. Of course, short-term rentals are a good way to try on a new location for size. Check out http://www.craigslist.com, the San Francisco area resource now in major cities, will give you a feel for local housing costs. http://www.realtor.com is excellent for this also.
4. Rent or borrow an RV and sample a lot of places over a period of time, if you have it. Fifty-somethings, Jim and Kendra Golden went about this in an even more radical way. They quit their jobs, sold their house and put their possessions into storage before they hit the road. Read more their adventure on 2young2retire.com (www.2young2retire.com/jimkendra.html). For more about the RV lifestyle, check http://www.rvclub.com, http://www.escapees.com.
5. Don't leave your current home for another without appreciating what it has meant to you. Farewell parties are great, but you also need some time to feel and process the loss. After the de-cluttering and the garage sales are over, plan some kind of closure ceremony. Consider making lists of what you most liked about your home, including memories of favorite people and events. We held a ceremonial burning of ours. Make up your own ritual
6. Finally, remind yourself that - as in the title of Jon- Kabat-Zinn's classic book - wherever you go, there you are. Your environment may be different, but you remain the same. Do your homework as best you can, then make peace with yourself - and your partner, if you have one -- about the decision. You're likely to feel at home in your new place that much sooner.
© Marika Stone, 2young2retire.com
Marika Stone is co-founder of http://www.2young2retire.com, Retirement Planning for People Who Aren't Calling it Quits, and co-author of Too Young to Retire: 101 Ways to Start the Rest of Your Life (Plume 2004). She believes the longevity revolution is only as good as the choices people make. She is dedicated to helping people 50 and older make wise choices in the post-career phase of life.
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